


Courage to Love and Be Loved

by chesca



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Polyamory, Pre-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:41:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26228122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chesca/pseuds/chesca
Summary: "Reference." Hinata manages to say in between the feeling of awe when Iwaizumi spikes the ball into the opponent's court. He then quickly turns his attention to the service line because he knows Oikawa would be serving next.They don't speak for a while after Oikawa serves but Hinata notices the twitch in Kageyama's hands that symbolize his awe for his senpai.Hinata briefly wonders what it would be like for the Grand King to teach him serves. Which also leads him to imagine how Iwaizumi would teach him to spike. Would Hanamaki be able to teach him to receive and spike too? Would Matsukawa teach him some blocking tips too?Hinata shakes off those ideas, it's impossible for them to come true anyway.orHinata Shouyou likes four guys and isn't sure whether it's requited or not. It's probably the latter.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Hinata Shouyou/Iwaizumi Hajime/Matsukawa Issei/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 16
Kudos: 89





	1. To Belong Somewhere

**Author's Note:**

> I have come back! I started a draft of this about a month ago, posted snippets on twitter and now we're here! Seijoh 4 and Hinata would always be close to my heart hence this fic! Hope you enjoy the chapter!

Hinata doesn't understand how he's attracted to four guys who are all best friends with each other.

_They all probably have girlfriends too_ , Hinata thinks. 

"I still don't understand the importance of watching Seijoh play." Kageyama grumbles. 

Hinata had successfully dragged him to one of Aoba Johsai's practice matches, he originally planned to bring Yamaguchi but opted out when he found out that he and Tsukishima had a date today. He slightly envies them for having that all figured out while here he is gay panicking over men who probably would never look at him twice. Volleyball is an exception though. Volleyball is his only excuse. 

"It's for volleyball." Hinata replies, not really looking away from the court. 

"We could've just practiced ourselves." Kageyama says despite watching the match intensely. 

"Reference." Hinata manages to say in between the feeling of awe when Iwaizumi spikes the ball into the opponent's court. He then quickly turns his attention to the service line because he knows Oikawa would be serving next. 

They don't speak for a while after Oikawa serves but Hinata notices the twitch in Kageyama's hands that symbolize his awe for his senpai.

Hinata briefly wonders what it would be like for the Grand King to teach him serves. Which also leads him to imagine how Iwaizumi would teach him to spike. Would Hanamaki be able to teach him to receive and spike too? Would Matsukawa teach him some blocking tips too? 

Hinata shakes off those ideas, it's impossible for them to come true anyway. 

"Hey dumbass, we should get going soon. I don't want to be seen by Oikawa-san." Kageyama says, grabbing Hinata by his sleeves. 

Hinata whines loudly and accidentally catches the attention of a certain middle blocker. They lock eyes with one another for a second and Hinata swears on every volleyball poster he has in his room that he sees Matsukawa's mouth quirk upwards. 

It does all kinds of things to Hinata's stomach. He's not sure whether to feel uneasy due to the fact of being caught in the enemy's school or feel giddy because finally someone from his four crushes had looked his way. 

Hinata let's Kageyama pull him away, that's why he doesn't notice Matsukawa approach the other three who informs them of the freak duo's appearance. 

* * *

"You went to Seijoh?!" Nishinoya asks, shocked. 

"It was for some recon." Hinata says in an attempt to defend himself. 

"They didn't hurt or threaten you or anything?" Tanaka asks, putting his hands on both of Hinata's shoulders. 

"Eh? They wouldn't do that!" Hinata says in protest and then pouts. "And Kageyama went too why aren't you smothering him?!" 

Tanaka rolls his eyes. “Kageyama doesn’t hide behind me whenever Oikawa appears.”

Hinata wants to say that it’s not because he was scared of the Grand King it’s more like the opposite but if he does do that, he’d never get to hear the end of it and-

“Shouyou! Oh god! They traumatised him!” Nishinoya wails. “Shouyou! Talk to us-” Nishinoya’s collar is grabbed by Asahi. “Sorry Hinata.” He apologizes before walking away with Nishinoya in tow.

Well, that’s one.

“Tanaka, please don’t bother Hinata.” Suga reprimands. Fortunately, Tanaka follows and Hinata’s met with Suga’s concerned stare. “Are you okay?”

Hinata nods his head. “Yeah if this is about me going to Seijoh, they really didn’t do anything to me!” He then points to the stretching Kageyama. “You can even ask him!”

Suga chuckles. “Yeah I know,” He then crosses his arms. “Even if they did manage to do something, it’s not like Karasuno wouldn’t do something about it.” Suga says with a smile that was not comforting at all, it was more of a threatening one.

“I-I should- uh stretching! We should practice now Suga-san!” Hinata sputters out.

Suga's smile turns into a genuine one. "Yeah go on, I'll catch up." Hinata nods and rushes towards Kageyama to join him for stretching. 

Hinata sighs in relief but allows himself to imagine things that would never come to be. He imagines the what if? What if Hinata was closer to his four crushes? What if Hinata was in a relationship with them?

He shakes his head making Kageyama look at him weirdly but he doesn't say anything about it. 

It's not like Hinata hadn't searched for it yet. When he first had these feelings, he was all panicked and confused. He tried to choose one, who was he most attracted to? And honestly, he couldn't. He thought that he was so selfish, who was he to like four people at once? Wasn't that cheating? But it's not like he's in a relationship with any one of them anyway… So he relied on Google for help. Fortunately he was provided the answers he was looking for. He found out that it was normal, this was normal. He was normal. Then his fingers typed in a question he really wanted to ask. 

_How do you get four people to fall in love with you?_

Hinata did not press enter. Instead he closed the laptop and forced all thoughts of them into the back of his mind. 

And you could see how effective this was when even until today he was still thinking of them. 

_Great job Hinata_

"Oi dumbass! Time to practice." Kageyama hits the back of Hinata's head, snapping him out of his thoughts. 

"I'm coming." Hinata grumbles, finishing up stretching. 

"Did you at least learn anything from Seijoh's match?" Kageyama asks as they make their way towards the court. 

_I learned that they're so out of my reach._ "Yeah, Matsukawa-san's blocks are amazing! And of course you know about the Grand King's serves! And then Hanamaki-san's receives! Did you see him? He's such an all-rounder! And then don't even get me started on Iwaizumi-san! He's such a cool ace! All those spikes and-" Kageyama gives him an unimpressed look. 

"I asked what you learned, not what you were impressed by." He then flicks Hinata's forehead. 

"Ow!" 

"You idolize them too much." Kageyama sighs. "It's clear that it wasn't effective for you, might as well just practice instead of going to other schools for reference." 

Hinata pouts. "We could always try again-" 

"Nope, we need to get our revenge. We need to go to Nationals, remember?" Kageyama says, grabbing a volleyball. "Come on dumbass time to practice." 

Hinata smiles and nods his head. Even if he wasn't going to be able to visit Seijoh again due to lack of excuses at least he still had volleyball. And besides! If he wanted to meet them again he'd have to beat the other schools so that Karasuno and Seijoh could play against each other again! Hinata psyches himself up with this train of thought. 

_Yeah, I need to get better at Volleyball._

He mentally notes to text a friend later. Hinata decides that it's time to meet up with someone if he's going to get better. 

* * *

Hinata's lost. Again. He pulls at his own hair, frustrated that he couldn't follow the directions given to him by his friend. 

“Oh? Is that Chibi-chan I see?” 

Hinata feels his stomach turn, tempted to go and run to the nearest bathroom. Though with his luck, he’d bump into them again.

He turns around to face Oikawa and widens his eyes when he sees three other people with him. “Oikawa-san! And uh, Iwaizumi-san, Hanamaki-san and Matsukawa-san.” He slightly bows when he greets them.

Hanamaki leans against Matsukawa, laying the back of his hand on his forehead. “I’m hurt, Hinata. You greet Oikawa with such enthusiasm and we get none?” Hanamaki says dramatically.

Hinata doesn’t respond after that, he’s in shock that they actually know his name and not Karasuno’s Number 10 or what pretty much everyone calls him, ‘Chibi-chan’.

“Hey Hinata, are you still there?” Matsukawa waves a hand in front of him which snaps Hinata back to reality.

He squeaks when he notices Matsukawa standing close (not really that close but Hinata’s still slightly in shock) to him. He jumps away instinctively and slightly reddens in embarrassment once he realizes what he’s done.

Iwaizumi sighs. “Jeez try not to scare the kid Matsun.”

Matsukawa shrugs. “I was just concerned about him, he suddenly stopped talking.”

“And moving.” Hanamaki adds, and Matsukawa nods in agreement.

Oikawa snickers and moves towards Hinata. “So Chibi-chan,” Hinata mutters something along the lines of ‘don’t call me that’ but it only adds to Oikawa’s amusement, “what brought you here?”

“Oh uh…” Hinata’s unsure whether to tell them the real reason or not. “I’m kind of lost.”

“But where were you going in the first place?” Hanamaki asks in a teasing tone, not oblivious to the fact that Hinata is flustered whenever he talks to one of them.

“Oh uh… that...uh….”

Iwaizumi sighs yet again. “Maki, Shittykawa, that’s none of our business.”

Oikawa and Hanamaki pout, curiosity dissatisfied. 

But then Matsukawa chimes in. “We won’t be able to help him if we don't know where he’s going though.” Oikawa and Hanamaki perk up and look at Hinata, expecting him to answer. Iwaizumi frowns though, he realizes that they do have a point but from the looks of it Hinata is slightly uneasy to tell them where he’s headed.

Hinata stares at the hem of his shirt and fiddles with it, avoiding the curious gazes of the men who're standing in front of him. Hinata sighs resigning to his fate, he’s lost, his phone is dead and the only shred of hope lies with these students of Aoba Johsai who will most likely back out once they hear his reasons.

“You first…” Hinata mumbles.

“Hmm? What was that Chibi-chan?”

Hinata gulps and looks at them, determined not to stutter or be overwhelmed with the fact that all of his crushes are staring at him, patiently waiting for him to talk. “I’ll tell you where I’m headed, if you guys tell me what you’re doing here.”

“Oh that’s easy we’re on a double da-” Oikawa’s cut off by Matsukawa putting a hand on his shoulder. “We’re all just hanging out.” Hanamaki stares at him in confusion.

“Ah, I see.” Hinata says, trying not to show the hurt in his voice.

Hinata’s not that dumb, he heard it, he understood it. There’s only one word you can put after double in this kind of situation.

_They’re on a double date._

They don’t have girlfriends, they have boyfriends. They have each other. 

Hinata comes into a sudden realization and lets out a dry laugh, making the four of them look at him weirdly. 

“Ah, it’s nothing.” Hinata waves it off. “Actually I was going to head to Shiratorizawa but I can just call Semi-san to pick me up!” Hinata tries to sound happy, hopefully in the eyes of the group in front of him he succeeds.

“Are you sure? We can just walk you there, I think it’s pretty close-” Iwaizumi offers but Hinata shakes his head.

“I know you guys don’t exactly get along.” 

Oikawa snorts. “Getting along is putting it lightly, Ushiawaka's so annoying always pulling me to go to Shiratorizawa-” Iwaizumi nudges him with an elbow to stop him from speaking any further.

Hinata giggles softly, slightly cheering up at their antics. “See, I better get going. Thank you and uh..goodbye!” 

Hinata bows before running off. He hears the faint shouting of his name but decides to ignore it.

Why would he even turn around? Why would he even go back? He can clearly see that there's no place for him. He doesn’t belong there. They already had each other. There’s no point, but Hinata still wishes that he can somehow squeeze himself in there.


	2. To Notice the Things Unseen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey Hinata, you good?" Semi asks, a worried expression on his face. "We can just call it a day-" 
> 
> "No!" Hinata protests immediately. "I want to get better,” I want to forget, “And besides, I already bothered you to practice today Semi-san so uh we should make the most of it.” I need a distraction.
> 
> “Uh… well if you say so,” He then warily looks at the gym doors. “But uh, I think the others are probably on their way too, so you know-”
> 
> Or
> 
> Semi and Hinata eat at a cafe and Seijoh4 makes an appearance again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back with another chapter! Hope you enjoy!!!

Hinata does get to Shiratorizawa eventually. But honestly, after that encounter a while ago, he barely has enough energy to practice. 

"Hey Hinata, you good?" Semi asks, a worried expression on his face. "We can just call it a day-" 

"No!" Hinata protests immediately. "I want to get better,”  _ I want to forget,  _ “And besides, I already bothered you to practice today Semi-san so uh we should make the most of it.”  _ I need a distraction. _

“Uh… well if you say so,” He then warily looks at the gym doors. “But uh, I think the others are probably on their way too, so you know-”

Hinata’s face falls and Semi flinches when it does. “Sorry kid,” He puts a reassuring hand on Hinata’s shoulders. “But we gotta go.”

Hinata grumbles but mutters a fine and walks away to pick up the scattered volleyballs. Semi proceeds to take down the net and is determined to make it look like he was the only one practicing here. 

“So Hinata,” Semi starts as he finishes cleaning up. “Are you doing anything after this?" 

"Probably going to practice some more volleyball elsewhere." Hinata answers, but in truth, he has no idea where he's going to practice around here. 

“Nope, that’s enough volleyball for today. Your serves are kind of getting better.” Semi says, ruffling his hair. “It won’t hit anyone’s head now.”

“Hey!” Hinata glares at him. “I shouldn’t have told you about that.”

“Well you did,” Semi slings an arm around Hinata. “That’s why we’re going to eat. Come on, it’s my treat.”

“It better be. I cooked for you the last time you came over.” Hinata says as he’s dragged out of the gym by Semi.

“Yeah, yeah, and it was delicious now come on, before Shirabu arrives.”

“You’re more afraid of Shirabu-san than Ushijima-san, aren’t you?”

“Shut up.”

* * *

They go to this one cafe, it’s panda-themed and all. Hinata really isn’t fond of it but Semi insists that food and drinks here are really good. Hinata doesn’t know why but his heart is beating really fast and he’s really,  _ really _ nervous..

“Have you decided yet?” Semi asks as they both gaze upon the displayed menu above the cashier’s head. 

“I don’t know,” Hinata says, still distracted by his nerves, who knows where it came from. “Anything would be fine.” He mumbles.

Thankfully Semi, being a long time friend of Hinata’s, notices. “I’ll order for you then. You can just find us a table yeah?”

Hinata nods and walks away, off to find an empty table. Fortunately the table at the corner with a window on its side is empty. He smiles a little at this and walks a little faster to the table. He slides into it and somehow sitting there eases his nerves a bit. 

Well, that’s until he catches sight of two people who enter the cafe.

_ Oh shit _

When Matsukawa and Hanamaki turn their heads to scan the place, Hinata ducks and goes under the table to hide.  _ This is a dumb idea _ , Hinata thinks. Why did he even hide? It’s not like he’s alone! Wait, even if he was alone, it shouldn’t be a problem! Well, at least he doesn’t have to face them. Hinata’s sure he’s not ready for that today, well ever. He notices the two leave to find a table. Is this his chance? Yes! There’s no other chance but now. He’ll grab Semi, say he isn’t feeling well and if he calls bullshit he’ll just say that he doesn’t like this cafe and they’ll move to another. The plan is foolproof! Nothing will ruin it! He shifts his body to the side so that he could get out under the table. He turns his head, so that he could finally get out of this embarrassing situation and-

_ Oh shit (2) _

He sees Oikawa and Iwaizumi crunched over and looking at him with furrowed eyebrows and confused expressions.

It’s official! After this day ends, Hinata would willingly let Kageyama serve a ball to the back of his head in hopes of maybe forgetting this or just, you know, maybe getting his head to work again right. Maybe he’ll even let him do it again a few times after that too because he knows that he will never,  _ ever,  _ live this down. 

He sees the two stand up, and Hinata hopes that maybe they’ll just walk away. Maybe they’ll just pretend that this never happened. 

Then Hinata hears footsteps behind him and a light chuckle. Maybe it’s just Semi? Okay, he can live this down if it’s just Semi. But that’s until he hears two familiar voices that say Hinata and Chibi-chan.

_ Oh shit (3) _

Okay this time, he’d ask Kageyama to serve to the back of his head. It really needs some knocking sense into.

“Hinata,” Matsukawa repeats. “What’s it like down there? Never had the chance to, you know, go under the table of this cafe.”

“Shut up.” Hinata mumbles as he crawls out of the table and stands up. “I just dropped something.”

“Well you took an awfully long time looking for it Chibi-chan.”  _ Oh great, now they’re here too. _

“Well it was hard to find.” Hinata mumbles., as he slides back into his seat. He half-expects the four of them to sit down too but, no, they just stand there, all their gazes fixed on him. “So uh you guys are here for your double da- I mean, hang out?”

Iwaizumi groans while Oikawa pouts. “It sucked so much Chibi-chan!” Oikawa points to the smirking duo on their left. “They cheated!”

“They did not cheat.”

“We did not cheat.” 

The other three say at the same time.

Hinata slightly chuckles at this. Leave it to his four crushes to make him feel slightly better. “Why, what happened?” Hinata asks. Under the table Hinata clenches his fists, why did he even ask that question? It has nothing to do with him, he should have just minded his own business.

Iwaizumi is the first one to take a seat with Oikawa leaning onto the side of the couch. “We all went to play laser tag, you know, uh- after we bumped into each other.” Iwaizumi pauses when he notices Hinata.

“Okay, and then?” Hinata asks, urging Iwaizumi to ignore whatever he noticed.

It works when Iwaizumi slowly nods, continuing the story. “So we split into teams, Oikawa and I then Matsun and Maki.” He gestures to the two.  _ So couple versus couple huh? _ , Hinata thinks. “So then we went our separate ways-”

“But they didn’t!” Oikawa exclaims, pushing Iwaizumi to the side so that he could sit and he leans over the table. “They fucking went after us and shot us dead! IT WAS CHEATING!”

Matsukawa and Hanamaki laugh at Oikawa’s outburst and Hinata couldn’t help but laugh too. “Even you?!” Oikawa says and then rests his forehead on the table in defeat. “I have been betrayed.” He bemoans.

“Ah, I’m sorry Oikawa-san-” Hinata tries to apologize but stops when he sees Iwaizumi shaking his head while he grins. “There, there.” Hinata consoles him instead, reaching out and patting Oikawa’s head.

Hinata doesn’t notice it but Matsukawa and Hanamaki freezes and observes the scene with slightly wide eyes but soon turns into gentle gazes. Hinata doesn’t notice it but Oikawa tenses for a second when Hinata first touches his hair but relaxes immediately. Hinata doesn’t notice it but Iwazumi watches them with a fond look. Hinata doesn’t notice it himself but when he pats Oikawa’s hair, a soft smile plays on his lips. And if Hinata would ever notice any of this, he’d probably wish that this never ends.

But like most of Hinata’s wishes and hopes today, he’s let down again.

“Hinata, I didn’t know you had company?” Semi asks, a tray in his hands with their orders on it. 

“Oh uh Semi-san!” Hinata immediately retracts his hand and stands up making Matsukawa and Hanamaki step aside.

“The Shiratorizawa pinch server.” Oikawa says as he raises his head. “Didn’t think I’d see you here.”

“I could say the same to you.” Semi says with a hint of irritation.

“We just bumped into each other.” Matsukawa says, in hopes to maintain the peace.

“Yeah we just did!” Hinata says, reaching over to grab the tray from Semi and sets it down on the table. “And uh…” He faces Iwaizumi, silently asking for help.

“We were just leaving.” Iwaizumi says standing up.

“Moving to another table you mean.” Hanamaki corrects.

“Yeah that.” Iwaizumi pushes Oikawa out of the couch with the latter saying protesting with a ‘hey!’.

“Come on.” He says as he stands up and faces Hinata with a smile. “See you soon Hinata.”

“Bye bye Chibi-chan!” Oikawa says as he’s pushed by Iwaizumi to the other side of the cafe.

“Catch you later Hinata.” Hanamaki says with a wink that leaves Hinata forcing his blush down, not that it works anyway.

“See ya.” Matsukawa ruffles Hinata’s hair and waves when Hanamaki pulls him along. 

When he sees the four of them take a seat, Hinata plops down on the couch with a groan. 

"Leave it to the ball of sunshine to like four people instead of one." Semi says as he takes a seat. "But, I guess, they are kind of decent." 

"What do you mean  _ kind of _ ?" Hinata asks with narrowed eyes that quickly turn into wide ones. "Wait! I don't like them!" 

"Uh huh." Semi deadpans, taking a sip of his drink before sighing. "I've known you since you moved here in Miyagi. You can't fool me." 

"It's not like I have a chance anyway." Hinata mumbles, gripping the drink tightly in his hands. 

"What do you mean you don't have a chance?" Semi scoffs. "Oikawa was about to kill me for interrupting whatever you were doing." 

"They're boyfriends!" Hinata hisses. "Iwaizumi-san and Oikawa-San are a couple, and Hanamaki-san and Matsukawa-san are too!" 

"You of all people should know that love isn't limited to one person." Semi says casually. 

"Yeah but-" Hinata sighs. "It really is impossible, okay?" 

"Hinata…" Semi smiles softly at him. "Just give it some time."

Hinaga wants to disagree but honestly, no matter how much Hinata was let down today he can't stop hoping. He won't stop hoping. 

So he nods with a small smile of his own. "Yeah, sure." 

He then takes a bite of whatever pastry Semi bought for him. "Enough about me Semi-san, what about you and Shirabu-san?" 

Semi groans. "No- nope! I'm not doing this. Don't talk to me about him!" 

“Why? Thought you found him cute?” Hinata asks, playing with the straw of the drink.

“Yeah, at first but he practically worships the ground Ushijima walks on.”

“Well, at least he’s not taken.”

Semi grins. “Well, I guess we’re both hopeless when it comes to these things.”

Hinata groans. “You don't have to say it like that."

Semi shrugs and with that, they change the topic of the conversation. 

An hour later, they're both done eating. "Guess we're done here, come on let's go-" 

"No!" Hinata protests. "Let's wait for them to finish.". 

Semi raises an eyebrow at him. "Why?" 

Hinata mumbles something but it was too low for him to hear. "What?" 

"I said," Hinata breathes in, as if to ready himself. "I don't know when I'm going to see them again, so I'd like to you know- make the most of it." 

Semi rolls his eyes. "You're bound to see them again someday. Remember qualifiers?" 

"Yeah but-" Hinata tries to protest further but one stern look from Semi and he realizes that it's futile. "Fine." He grits out. 

Semi smiles a little and stands up, Hinata following the action. Semi notices four heads snap toward the direction the moment they stand up. He sighs and glances at Hinata. "Wanna say goodbye to them?" 

Hinata shakes his head. "No! I can't-- I mean, what's the point--" 

"Okay then how about this," Semi smirks, oh how he's going to enjoy this. "Why don't you just smile and wave at them a little?" 

Hinata widens his eyes at this. He can't possibly do that-- "And if they don't notice then that's it, but at least they won't hold it against you that you didn't say goodbye." 

Hinata thinks-- no, there's no time to think, he'd just end up overthinking about this again. He gathers up courage and faces the direction where the group's table is located. He immediately smiles and waves, and-- wait, they're looking at him! 

Hinata quickly retracts the hand that was previously waving at them and turns around to face Semi with a pout. "You didn't tell me they were looking at me!" 

Semi shrugs and turns around. He shoves his hands in his pockets and walks away. "Semi-san!" Hinata cries running after him. 

It's a good thing Hinata's too distracted by his own embarrassment to see the shocked, soft and dazed looks with a tint of blush on the group's faces or who knows what else might happen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the fic! Anyways thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are much appreciated! See you next chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed the fic! Anyways thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are much appreciated! See you next chapter!


End file.
